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Saturday, October 27, 2012

Heartache


I have been trying to write this blog for a week now and I just can't find the words to say.  There are so many things that I need to blog about and catch up on, but all that got put on hold Friday afternoon.  I can't even begin to describe the heartache being felt by my friends and their families right now.

Elijah Thomas Colopy 6/25/2012 - 10/19/2012

It all started on Friday morning.  My friends and I were planning on going to New Orleans for a girls weekend.   One of my best friends texted us and said that she probably wouldn't be able to go on the trip anymore because she was pregnant and was experiencing a lot of bleeding so she needed to see the doctor right away. On Friday afternoon I was packing and getting ready to leave, and I got a call from my friend saying that the doctor did confirm that she had a miscarriage.  Then she told me that our other friend Michelle that was going on the trip, called and said that they found her almost 4 month old baby not breathing and that he had passed away.  It all seemed so unreal and unimaginable.  My heart was breaking for both of them.  I talked with our other friend who was going on the trip with us and we both decided there was no way that we could still go and needed to stay home and be there for them.  I felt bad for our friend Jenia that we all cancelled going on the trip for her bachelorette party, but she completely understood.



The next few days we went over to Michelle's house and tried to be there for her and do things as much as we could.  It's so hard because you don't know what to do or say.  The thing is there is nothing you really can do.  There are no magic words or actions that will make any of it better.  I was sick to my stomach seeing the heartache on her face and all of the pain that she was in.  Nobody understands why these things happen and we probably never will.  The thing we do know is that God is still good and that Elijah and Adyn are in heaven with Him.   

The day of the funeral was one of the worst days of my life.  I will never get the images from that day out of my head.  Nobody should ever have to bury their child.  After the graveside, Holly and I got back in her car and I had a message on my phone that my great aunt passed away.  She lived a long, full life unlike this precious baby, but it's still sad and she will be missed by all of her family.  I'm heading to Oklahoma tomorrow for her funeral on Monday.  

Please keep all of these families in your prayers!

Love you Michelle and Eli!

19 comments:

  1. Oh, Andrea, what tremendous sadness. I have no words for you, but please know that you and your friends and those dear little ones are in my heart, as is your great aunt.

    Peace and love to you.

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  2. Oh sweetie. This is the saddest thing I could imagine. The only advice I can give you is to just be a friend and please please try not to act differently. My friend miscarried last summer and the #1 thing that upset her is that everyone acted different like there was something wrong with her. They tippy toed around it and because of this were unable to support her like she needed. So be a wonderful supporting friend as Im sure you can be. You have a generous heart and Im sure you will be a good shoulder to cry on. My thoughts are with you and Im sending strength and love your way. Take care Andrea.

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  3. Sending love and prayers your way. Much love. xx

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  4. This is utterly heartbreaking to read. There's really nothing else to say. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  5. I am so sorry to hear everything that has happened to you and your friends. My prayers and thoughts go out to you...HUGS!

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  6. OH my. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your friends at this time. Overwhelming sadness.

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  7. Oh, my heart just breaks for all of you. So terribly sorry for your losses. Prayers.

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  8. Not sure this will help but a very good friend of mine passed away last Sunday. Two weeks ago today she bent over to pick up laundry and got a headache. She went to the dr. right away, she had a brain bleed. She fought a valiant battle but she just couldn't overcome it. She leaves behind a broken hearted husband, a 4 year old little boy and a 3 month old. She LOVED those children. She lived for kids. We know she is in heaven rocking her 3 miscarried babies and all other babies. So I'm sure my friend Jane was there to meet this little angel and he is being rocked and loved. My heart breaks for your friend, there is so much sadness this week!

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  9. When I saw this on your Facebook, i started crying and am crying now. This is just unimaginable. I am so so so sorry for your loss, and your friend's loss. I could not imagine. I am praying for everyone. I wish there was a magic words to make everyone feel better but theres not. You're right, parents should not have to bury their children. Holding Grace a little tighter tonight.
    Let me know if they need anything?!?
    <3

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  10. I am sorry that your friends are suffering right now. I have no doubt that your friends are comforted by your friendship. You are a lovely lady.

    My sympathies to for all of you during this difficult time.

    Sandra

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  11. Oh Andrea, what terrible heartache you have been through, I truly am sorry and you are in my prayers!

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  12. Oh Andrea- I am so sorry. I can not imagine the loss. My prayers are with you and your friends.

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  13. I am so sorry! You and your friends will be in my thoughts and prayers!!

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  14. the pain of putting your child to rest is one no parent should have to feel. unfortunately, i know that pain all too well and feel every day. there's not a day that goes by that i don't think of my baby girl. and even though i went on to have 2 other little girls i still feel, and always will, like my family is incomplete and someone is missing.
    when we lost our daughter we lost ourselves. we secluded ourselves from the world becuase we just couldn't wrap our brains around the world moving on when our life was stuck...in this pain. we lost a lot friends because of this. many didn't know what to say so they just stopped calling, visiting. many didn't know how to handle our pain so they also stopped calling, visiting. some friends and even family would try to give us their answers as to why this was happening. and yea most of their comments were hurtful and useless to us at the time. my husband was the strong one that could simply excuse them as not knowing better but i was so fragile that took their words to heart.
    but some, people that weren't even that close to us, because our rock. they called, visited and sometimes just listened to me scream and curse. they never said something just to say something. they never offered words of "sage advice" they just stayed at our side and comforted us with a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. THOSE are the friends and family i appreciated the most.
    you are such a great friend to be there for them. don't offer words of advice on why this happened. just BE there for them, be present. if i've learned anything about losing my dauther is that there is NO answer as to why a baby dies. a parent asking that question is inevitable but answer that question with something silly can be prevented...just don't. even though we pushed and shoved people out our true friends didn't let us go into the darkness for good. they gave us our space but were also there for us always checking to make sure we came up for air. i will forever be indebt to those friends. that knew when to be there for us and knew what NOT to say.
    my heart goes out to your friend. this is a pain that is just so great, i wish no parent would ever feel it....

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  15. My heart is just breaking for everyone!! I am so sorry for your loss, your friends' losses and everyone involved. I'll be praying for you all. ((HUGS))

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  18. that is soo heartwrenching..... :(

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